I try to do little reflections at the end of every semester, and although this one isn’t quite over yet, now seems like as good a time as any to put this out there. Below, I present to you the four things that stick out most from Fall 2019.
1. Buy the field
Matthew 13:44 talks about a man who, upon finding buried treasure in a field, immediately sells all he has and buys the field. Of course, this is a parable alluding to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ, but there are further applications of this verse that I started to think of after hearing a sermon on it. In the sermon, the pastor suggested that we “buy the field” in relationships and other significant commitments in life. What this means is that we focus on the important things in someone (the treasure) and are willing to look past the little things that we might not like (the rough dirt). I think so often we are frustrated (or even confused) when people we care about let us down or act in ways we don’t like. We desire complete perfection in others, and sometimes we might even feel like we deserve it. However, “buying the field” means that when we find someone or something valuable, we hold onto them/it regardless of the cost and regardless of the work that may be required.
I felt really convicted by this truth, not because I struggle to commit to people, but because I struggle to accept others’ flaws (or my own if we’re being honest). I think things like, “if they really cared about me they’d change” or “why can’t they just fix the few things that make them unlikable sometimes,” when really I should just accept the imperfections (as I perceive them) and focus on what I’ve valued in the person from the beginning. And honestly, just the way people are wired makes this a necessity. After all, I’ve found time and time again that the things we like and don’t like in people are often two sides of the same coin. What makes someone so fun to be around might make them annoying at times, and what makes a friend so admirably successful might make them seem overbearing or unreasonable at other times. I certainly see this in myself, and so it’s quite unreasonable to expect others to have the good without any of the bad, yet time and time again I find myself surprised that people don’t always fit my preferences. I think I’ll chalk this one up as a “work in progress” kind of lesson.
2. Bouncing back sometimes takes time, and that’s okay.
Reading this bullet point might have made you a little alarmed, but I promise it will make sense in a second. As a lot of you know, this summer was one of the most stressful times of my life due to the ultra-intense work environment (and lifestyle in general). I found myself often working 50 hour weeks and sitting in traffic for at least another 10 hours per week, while I also tried to take an online class, do OU research work, go through a book study with friends, maintain physical health, and generally just maintain my sanity. The good news is I accomplished all of those except one. The bad news is that the last one is the one that I failed at, and while it felt good to have a couple days at home after it was over, those couple days were not enough to recover and prepare for a challenging semester. I’ve done lots of mental health research as part of the module I put together and because I just find it interesting. One thing you quickly realize is that, despite all the “easy” solutions proposed, patterns (and even your physiology) won’t change overnight.
When you’re in pure survival mode for hundreds of hours in a summer, you won’t recover instantly. I returned to OU and just threw myself into the usual routine, and, honestly, that means that it took at least a month and a half for me to feel like normal again. The more significant lessons probably have to do with some of the earlier decisions that should have been made, but it was also important for me to learn to be patient with myself when trying to bounce back from tough situations. It’s important to not make excuses for yourself, but sometimes you just have to cut yourself a break, be patient, and trust that things will get back to normal in time.
3. Check the simple things first.
We live in a complex world, and it’s usually sexier to point to complex solutions than to address the more basic issues that underlie most problems. This semester has reminded me that when something seems wrong, one shouldn’t count out common sense wisdom just because it’s boring. There are a few manifestations of this lesson in my life, but the central one is in the area of physical health. I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to write this part because it exposes myself as an absolute fool, but I did anyway, if only to remind future me of this point.
As of a couple weeks ago, I had been feeling so physically not myself for such a long period of time that I was about to find a doctor here in Norman and get extensive testing done, and then it hit me—what if I just stopped destroying my body with processed food (or skipping meals entirely) and sedentary behavior, and instead prioritized eating healthy and exercising? And honestly, while I still don’t feel perfect, it’s pretty incredible what those two things alone have done, and I can’t believe I didn’t pinpoint the problem earlier.
4. Get some rest.
I recently saw a post on Bob Goff’s Instagram that read “It’s easy to confuse busyness with progress and accomplishments with pleasing Jesus. Get some rest.” While I was happy to concede that the first two points are true, the action step of resting was harder to buy into. Like isn’t the solution to just better allocate your time to things that are valuable and to continually remind yourself of the scriptural truth that God’s love for you is completely independent of your actions? Yes, these are true, but the act of taking rest has its own merit. After all, I’ve found that refusing to take rest manifests itself in a lot of false beliefs that gradually take hold. After a while, we start to really buy into the belief that every problem is one that can be “worked out of,” and this only leads to self-defeating behavior when the problem cannot be. Recently, I’ve been taking at least one 12-hour (non-sleeping) block per week where I don’t work on school work, or do anything just because I feel like I have to. And honestly, while rest in little chunks is also pretty good, I’ve found that this habit of fully disconnecting allows you to feel fully refreshed when you return to whatever you’re dealing with. With cross country injuries, or when overtraining would strike, I would always say “I can’t afford to take time off right now because [insert reason here],” and was always met with the annoying (but correct) response that “you can’t afford not to.” While it feels lazy to set aside that much time every week, I’m realizing that the same wisdom might apply here. Although it might be cooler to always just “power through, ” in the long run you really can’t afford a continual adherence to this strategy.
That’s about all I have the energy to say right now, although I’d love to hear what you’ve been learning recently. I hope all my friends and family are doing well, and thanks for reading.